Ladies and gentlemen we’ve reached the apocalypse! In a world that the Hardy Boyz (sure Jeff is reportedly injured but Matt is healthy) can’t make the card of a B-level WWE No Mercy PPV, Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s illegitimate son, Cena/Reigns isn’t main eventing, and Enzo Amore could very well become the Cruiserweight Champion. All we need now is Will Smith to save us!
Only in this apocalypse, the dog lives.
It’s an inconsistent card; two heavyweight matches make up the top half, and both can genuinely be described as WrestleMania worthy. Both Lesnar/Strowman and Cena/Reigns promise to be top-notch tilts, but a weak undercard leaves me wanting for more. There’s absolutely no reason that the Hardyz couldn’t make it onto the card especially with the lack of excitement around the remaining matches. I mean, I had no idea Crews/Elias was even a thing until I was getting ready to finalize this article and confirming the match card.
I won’t ramble too much – let’s get to the predictions!
Elias vs. Apollo Crews
Apparently this match was added, and the only reason I found out about it was because I looked up the match card.
Go Titus Brand!
Prediction: Apollo Crews
RAW Tag Team Championship Match – Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins© vs. Shesaro
Tag team wrestling certainly isn’t at its peak right now.
Not to say it’s for a lack of effort from the competitors; both teams in this match feature solid-to-great wrestlers, and have put on quality matches over the course of their feud. It’s just time to get it over with.
Rollins & Ambrose won the titles from Sheamus and Cesaro at SummerSlam in one of the highlights of the night. Since then, however, the two teams have been booked in throwaway matches with absolutely no further build to their feud whatsoever. It’s upsetting that what was one of the hottest pairings on the roster should find themselves with absolutely no momentum just a month later.
Sheamus and Cesaro have utilized their rematch clause for this match, which generally leads to a loss. One can only hope it’s the end of the feud as well, and that both squads can move on to other things.
Prediction: Rollins & Ambrose retain the RAW Tag Team Championships
RAW Women’s Championship Match – Alexa Bliss© vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Emma vs. Bayley
Hey guys, Bayley’s back!
And was thrown into a title match for absolutely no reason whatsoever!
After a surprise return on the go-home show on Monday’s edition of RAW, Bayley was inserted into the Women’s Championship match at No Mercy. It’s just another example of Bayley’s misuse; there’s absolutely no reason that I shouldn’t be excited to see her wrestling in a championship match, but here we are. It’s a weird world we live in.
The remaining four women in the match are seemingly the only remaining four women on the RAW roster, and have been fighting to kill time towards this match in what feels like an eternity. It’s exciting to see Emma in the match, however, and here’s to hoping that her eventually taking the pin for one of the other four boosts her onto bigger and better things.
Although I wouldn’t hold out hope.
Prediction: Bayley wins the RAW Women’s Championship, because why not.
Intercontinental Championship Match – The Miz © vs. Jason Jordan
I really, really dislike Jason Jordan.
The Kurt Angle’s son storyline may be the worst in professional wrestling today, other than anything Jinder Mahal is doing.
But you’ve know that all along
It’s horrendous. Poorly planned from the very start, it’s been a badly written, badly executed storyline that’s done absolutely no favours for anyone involved. I mean, if the Miz and Kurt Angle in 2017 can’t get you over, it’s a slippery slope downhill from there.
Speaking of the Miz, we’re all very excited for him to become a father in 2018. What a guy, and what an Intercontinental Champion. While this feud hasn’t been up to the level of the work with Dolph Ziggler and John Cena last year, he’s been as entertaining as he can be given the fact he’s working with a terrible story.
Here’s to hoping he retains and moves on.
Prediction: The Miz retains his Intercontinental Championship
Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
Thought it was over?
Late 2000’s singer Chris Daughtry has your answer!
Jokes aside, a feud that was dead heading into SummerSlam actually has stakes at this point, with Bray Wyatt claiming that Balor has never beaten him; the Demon did. It’s quite an interesting way to go with the feud, especially in the event Balor loses; is he simply not good enough without his alter ego?
While I really hope this feud doesn’t continue, it would be interesting to see the character development in Balor should he lose. Besides, it’s not a major PPV, so there’s an actual chance that Wyatt may win!
Prediction: Bray Wyatt
John Cena vs. Roman Reigns
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
The two most recent poster children of the WWE are finally doing battle one-on-one, and it genuinely feels huge; while it may not be Hogan/Rock, it’s certainly a passing of the torch on a similar scale. Regardless of how you feel about them personally, they’ve clearly been positioned as two icons of the industry.
To make another Rock comparison, they’ve essentially used the same template for this feud as the famous “Once in a Lifetime” event of Rock/Cena; basically, go schoolyard bully on each other, and see who can insult each other the most.
It’s just too bad that Cena so thoroughly schools Reigns on the mic.
14 minutes of Roman Reigns getting schooled. What a time to be alive.
While it may not be your cup of tea, I love most of the reality stuff – and Reigns gives Cena a lot of material to work with. John Cena is the WWE equivalent of Tom Brady; how can you insult the guy who’s got the most championships of anyone literally ever, with a smoking hot wife and a ton of money? You really, really can’t. It’s awesome that they’ve been able to keep the physicality out of this build; I’m amped for this match.
As far as the result? While I may not like it, you’ve gotta put the young guy over.
Prediction: Roman Reigns defeats John Cena
WWE Universal Championship Match – Brock Lesnar © vs. Braun Strowman
I’m so damn excited for this match.
Braun Strowman may be my favourite thing in wrestling. Since last year’s brand split removed Strowman from the Wyatt Family for the first time, the Monster Among Men has developed an appetite for destruction that only Guns N’ Roses can rival. In the past year, Strowman has accomplished the following:
- Thrown a human being strapped to a spine board off a balcony
- Tipped over an ambulance with a human being inside.
- Quite possibly may have become the first WWE Superstar to utilize an office chair as a weapon
- Destroyed a wrestling ring through sheer mass
- Deposited Brock Lesnar through not one, but two tables.
- Proceeding to flip a third table onto the previously mentioned Brock Lesnar after placing him through said table.
- A BROCK LESNAR STRETCHER JOB
- Shrugged off a Lesnar german suplex.
And that’s just getting started!
He’s not finished with anyone yet.
To make Brock Lesnar look like the underdog still sounds nearly impossible, even coming off of a feud with Goldberg in which he was dominated 2/3 times they met. However, WWE has built to a match that has many fans genuinely questioning whether or not the Beast Incarnate will retain his Universal Championship, including myself. With Braun dominating Lesnar at every turn, it’s nearly impossible to imagine Strowman losing.
However, I still believe that WWE is setting up to a Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar match at WrestleMania, and you have to believe that the title is going to be part of it. Personally, I don’t think there’s a better time to put the title on Strowman – and give the guy a 15 year long title reign – but do I think it will happen? No.
Prediction – Brock Lesnar retains the Universal Championship