A new chapter begins in FC Edmonton history this upcoming May when play begins in the new Canadian Premier League (CPL). As long as Edmonton has had the Eddies, the soccer club has had an exuberant and boisterous Supporters Group. Without going into a history lesson about the variations and factions of the Edmonton Supporters, the River Valley Vanguard (RVV) is for everyone to join heading into 2019. The RVV Supporters group will be seated in Section 108. This ladies, gentlemen and soccer hooligans is where 99.8% of the crowd chants will emanate from throughout the course of the game. Personally, I’ll be seated in Section 106 joining in on some of my personal favourites. My goal is to one time come up with something so witty and on the ball that I receive the “come and join us” chant.
Whether you choose to watch a game seated among the Vanguard or elsewhere, “the prequel” part of this story is a partial list of chants, taunts and general fun. If you have ideas for new chants, hit the RVV twitter account with your suggestions. Here we go:
The first dozen (yes, dozen!) songs are recorded and can be found HERE. Hits include “We Love You”, “Allez”, “You Are My Eddies”, and “House of Clarke”. If you are not a link clicker, “You Are My Eddies” is “You are my sunshine” redone. “House of Clarke” is done to the melody of “The Ants Go Marching” with the words being:
WE build the house of Clarke for the Eds, The Eds
We’ll never stop ’til we win the cup we said! we said!
and when we win, its plain to see, the greatest club in history
As the Eds go marching on to victory!
RIVER VALLEY VANGUARD CHANTS - OPPOSING PLAYERS
By the time the players are announced, everyone’s vocal cords have been warmed. As the opposing players are introduced they are welcomed with a “Who?”. The opposing coach receives a chorus of “Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?” The opposing goalie typically gets “ooooooOOOOOO YOU FAT BASTARD” after goal kicks. The thick skin of a goalie gets tested wherever he plays but especially at Clarke Stadium. Any former Eddies player coming back to Edmonton is subject to “Insert name is a wanker, Insert name here is a wanker!“. Heaven help the poor soul if he is a goalie.
Soccer is infamous for players faking injuries. One of my favourite memories of attending an Eddies game is when an opposing player went down like the stereotype would suggest and when he magically found the ability to walk off the field, Amazing Grace was played by a gentleman named Lance on the bagpipes to help escort him off the pitch. On days Lance is unavailable, the classic “get that crap off my lawn” or “If you want to dive the pool is over there” chant works just as well.
If an opposing team misses the net on a shot, he will receive a thunderous rendition of:
How WIIIIIIIDE do you want the net, how WIIIIIIDE do you want the net, how wide do you want the net?
By now I’m sure you have figured out that you leave your “political correctness” at home when you enjoy a game along with the men and women of the RVV. There was a time when things said in jest were taken in jest and that is the spirit of The Supporters. It is the spirit of competition that drives players and fans to try to throw off the opposing team. There are some classic insults hurled including:
Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? I had one, you had one, (opposing player name) had 55!!!
RIVER VALLEY VANGUARD CHANTS - REFEREES
The referees, of course, are not spared from the wrath of the RVV.
- A rope, a tree, to hang the referee!
- I’m blind, I’m deaf, I wanna be a ref!
You didn’t think the linsemen were exempt from the fun did you?
You coulda been a ref! You coulda been a ref! But now you’re a linseman, but now you’re a linseman! But now you’re a linseman, you could have been a ref!
RIVER VALLEY VANGUARD CHANTS - EDDIES
In the past there have been chants for the Zebie brothers, Tomi Ameobi, and many others. Chants for Allan, Bruno and Tomi will have to get dusted off. Prince Amanda, one of three FC Edmonton Academy products signed to the professional team, already has his own chant:
Prince scores from the left… Prince scores from the right! Prince Amanda…. Makes Messi look shite
One classic reincarnation of Winter Wonderland is as follows:
There’s only (player name), only one (player name) walking along, singing a song, walking in a (players name) wonderland.
Folks there is so much more. I cannot stress enough that you need to put checking out a FC Edmonton game on your agenda. A big thank you to Nathan, Gord, Tobi and all the other members of the RVV who helped me compile this list. Sorry I didn’t include all your notes but I wanted to keep this article under a 1000 words. This list just puts training wheels on any new fans and pays homage to a long history of inspiring our own and infuriating he who dare tread on our Clarke Stadium pitch.
If you are one of those folks that believes soccer is boring, let the overwhelming support FC Edmonton change your mind. I will leave you with a video. I’ve been told by Nathan that the part the River Valley Vanguard chants (whistles) starts at the 22 second mark.